Second Post

My Bizarre Life.

    You know, since little I was gifted to become ugly and not lucky. But I also not kind with other people. So Life fucked me from face to my ass. And I don't understand why my parents telling me to be grateful. But even Life is not be nice on me, I'm still alive since this day. I just do not understand why. Since I was on elementary school, I always became the loser, being bullied because I'm fat and having 'asian' eye. If I can choose, and know about world before I was born. I don't want to born in here.

    I hope I can customize my looks before I born. But it cannot be happened. Because life is a hardcore game mode, when you die, It's over. There is no check point. There is no second chance or maybe ten chance. Yeah, that's sucks honestly. My luck also not good. I never won a prize in my life. never get girl that I wanted to fuck and love with. Since this day my wealth is not on good condition. I wish I got first time luck  in my life.

    I was born to be weak, never win a fight in school or real life. Crying when my i lost my love to the girl that rejected me or when break up with girl that I waste because I feel bored with relationship. Then I just hoping someday i got a super power to become strong, helping me with dating issue, or helping me to get rich fast. Hmm, I thought I just dreaming since I born. But it's not dream, only cruel reality that fucked me hard from inside to outside. Shit.

    But when I wish I can end this with shortcut (suicide). I just feeling afraid. Afraid to leave my family. And afraid that other people know me will spit on my grave, and thought that, "he's dead. he's really a totally looser.". But don't know how to do some revenge. My parents always said to be grateful. I'm stress,  So in the end, I think more before really ending my stupid life. I cannot do a revenge kill like those psychopath, cause I was to weak. Hope i just can died when i sleep. I hope that not be that hurt, hihi. 

    I living by hating people that do something bad to me. And til i dead i would not forgive them. Because they also not saying sorry or do that with some regretly. Right now i still hate them, i don't know why i can forgive them or forget them. It's suck. You know, like when u just standing or working, suddenly that memories came and fucked up my head. So i just scream suddenly. And other people around me be like "wtf happen?" . 

    So maybe that's all about how i living my own life. maybe if i not get bored by write shit again. i will continuie this blog. bye